Breathe for Me (and I'll Breathe for You)
by speedfanatic05
Summary: Taking the risks brings serious consequences. If he only gave a damn. Rare pair Suga x Oiks. Mafia AU. Rated Mature.
1. Chapter 1 : Selfish pt 1

**Warning: Language/ Sexual content/Violence**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu and I'm not receiving a dime for the fun I'm having.**

 **A/N: This is my first Haikyuu fic. If I mess it up, feel free to let me know! Oh, also I'm on AO3 under annijaye. Feel free to cruise on over there as well!**

 **Enjoy!**

Breathe for Me (and I'll Breathe for You)

Chapter One :Selfish Pt. 1

It was selfish of me to think this would work. I mean, in another world, I'd have no problem with watching his body move; the seductive roll of his hips, the way his lips turned up in a debauched smile- hell, even the mischievous glance in his eyes- all of it was an alluring temptation, one I couldn't afford to indulge in.

Yet, I was still standing here, watching his lithe body writhing in time to the indulgent beat. It was wrong; I should've turned and walked out of the door. I should've turned my back on him, should've kept walking that night. Should've stayed home. Should've kept my date with Dai...

Should've done a lot of things tonight but watching him...

I readjusted myself as I stood away from the bar, taking my drink with me. I tossed the liquid back, grateful for its burn. His eyes caught mine and that sinfully delicious grin morphed into a promise. Of what, I didn't know but fuck, I wasn't going to waste my time thinking, pondering on why this was all kinds of wrong.

He licked his lips and my dick pulsated at the thought of slipping deep inside of him. Of pinning him against the wall, the bed, the floor...

It had been a while since I'd had a good lay and I was game for expending all that pent up energy and he seemed as good as any to have that honor.

"He's dangerous."

Despite the thumping bass, I could hear the voice clearly, it's familiar tone a warning I gave serious thought to ignoring. A heavy hand settled on my shoulder in the attempt to pull my attention away from the dance floor, away from him.

I lingered but only for a moment as the hand gripped my shoulder gently. He was right. Kageyama was always right and it would be to my advantage to listen.

I chanced a glance back at him just in time to see his tongue glide across his lips once more, his eyes hazy with lust and intention- almost as if he'd read my mind.

"Suga."

Kageyama's voice pulled me out of the ether of lascivious thoughts, my heart pounding against my chest. I knew the danger in engaging in this dance of selfishness, of throwing caution to the wind. Yet, I couldn't stop staring.

With a knowing grin, he moved away, out of my line of sight and I tried to follow him with my eyes, the anxiety rising. He tossed a glance backwards as if beckoning me to follow, the gentle sway of his hips coaxing me to make a move. He was tall, clad in all black, his long legs and sinewy muscles perfecting an already devastating silhouette. There was a quiet, yet confident strength to him to the way he commanded the room with just a glance. His cognac eyes were sleepy, yet cunning, the playful and complacent glint a most potent lure. They were unscrupulous, bold even in an attempt to disguise the intelligence that simmered just below the surface.

Smart and sexy.

Very dangerous indeed.

Fuck danger though. I craved that type of thrill, of knowing the risks and still taking that step, waiting for the inevitable chaos. His eyes promised chaos- promised a lot of things. Things I should turn away from, things I should ignore.

I caught sight of him as the crowd swallowed him whole, his lips turned up in a smug grin. He winked before he turned and disappeared into the crowd of raging bodies. He was gone but he'd left a definite impression.

I should ignore him, I should forget him.

But I can't.

Against the warning bells ringing in my ears, I stand quickly and start toward the dance floor, fully intending on pursuing him. He'd awakened a hunger within me and now, I was curious.

How would he taste?

What would his voice sound like on the edge of oblivious pleasure?

How hard could I fuck him without breaking him?

Those thoughts cluttered my mind, narrowing my focus. I was inquisitive almost to the point of obsession. Figuring how things worked, solving, puzzling, the quest for knowledge, the question of more was a compulsion. It was a compulsion that served me well on many occasions but right now, it would be a catalyst to getting what I wanted.

That was, until someone grabbed my arm and pulled backwards. I tightened my fist, ready to slam it into Kageyama's jaw but stopped short when I turned to see a pair of piercing yellow- hazel eyes staring down at me.

"Whoa-ho, Suga, getting a bit frisky there are we?" Bokuto grinned as he leaned in, his uncanny eyes sharpening, "Better thought would be to let it go, Kou. We've got other matters to attend to."

Bokuto let my arm go and I massaged it, averting my eyes to the sea of sweat and lust.

I would be a fool to disregard Bo's thinly veiled threat but I can't help but wonder...what if?

"You're right," I answered as I refocused on the man. His black and grey hair fell in wisps, the strands plastering themselves around his face. It was a change from the normal edgier side he sported but, meh, whatever. He said it made him more approachable but you could damn well bet it was just a facade. There was no approaching Bokuto Kotaro- not if you wanted to live.

The pulsating bass drained me of my energy and attention and I turned to Bokuto giving him a nod and a grin, ready to leave. It was back to work but I couldn't help but think of the way those cognac eyes settled on me as if I were his next meal.

If I could be so selfish, I would be. But we were of two worlds.

His light, mine dark.

It would be stupid to get involved, stupid to let something as pesky as physical trappings cloud my vision.

I never called myself stupid but tonight, it was exactly what I was.


	2. Selfish pt 2

**Warning: Language/ depictions of violence/ sexual themes**

 **Chapter Two: Selfish pt. 2**

He'd been there.

Goddamnit, the sexy bastard had been there amongst the trappings of the young and the lost, his placid gaze seemingly at odds with his surroundings. I couldn't help but engage him visually and being the little shit I am I upped the ante. It was a thrill to hold his absolute focus, a fucking delight to see his topaz eyes narrowing in interest. Of course, I wasn't just satisfied to snatch his attention; I wanted to explore further, to test his limits. I wanted to chip away at the perceived cool, unflappable exterior he exuded. Nothing excited me more than an experiment and this sexy fucker was more than enough of challenge. I would relish shattering the façade, prying and prodding until he had no choice but to lie exposed for me, waiting, desiring…Giving his last just to hang on my very word.

It's what I did, what I was good at. I pushed the envelope, gleefully danced the treacherously thin line between provocation and pacifism and all to my benefit. It's gotten me into more than my fair share of sticky situations but I could no more deny that part of me than my devotion to those who mattered to me. I was a genius at this shit, reading the situation and using it to my benefit and usually to the other party's detriment. All for kicks, for the absolute joy of just knowing I could. Naturally, I wasn't well liked but, really, I couldn't care less. If you weren't a part of my inner circle, fuck you and your judgements.

That's just how it was.

I can't lie though, the first time I met him, I was willing to tone it down. It was on a night much like this one at this very club. I'd just been transferred from Sendai and decided that I'd take in the Tokyo night life, testing the waters in a bevy of clubs before settling for Lotus. I wasn't looking for anything in particular; just getting a feel for the territory but our meeting…it couldn't have been more perfectly timed. I'd been chatting up some nameless girl that I'd honed in with the thoughts of fucking her when it happened. He'd bumped into my back, quickly offering his apologies. When I turned to face him, I'd been rendered mute, staring dumbly into his smiling eyes, instantly hypnotized. He'd extended his hand and I barely noticed as my eyes roamed over him briefly taking in his grey hair and the tiny mole at the corner of his left eye. At first glance, he was every bit of the kind soul that his serene eyes portrayed him to be and truthfully, I was smitten. And if I'd been lost at his quiet beauty, I'd been absolutely destroyed when he spoke, his dulcet voice luring me into a false sense of contentment.

" _I hope the drink makes up for my poor manners…"_

Yes, the smooth bastard brought me a drink as an act of contrition before he paid the bartender and walked away. I'd watched him eyeing his slender form with equal parts of curiosity and desire. Later, I would kick myself in the ass for not moving in on him but luckily, that hadn't been my last chance. I'd returned to this club many times over in the hopes of running into him again, provoking a moment and seizing the opportunity to make him mine. I didn't tell my partner of my almost nightly pursuits, regulating that information under need to know- and no one needed to know that I'd fallen hard for a beautiful stranger.

That had been six months ago and yet, here he was his unflappable demeanor a blatant taunt of a challenge. Silently I prayed he'd look my way and was pleasantly surprised when his eyes finally locked onto mine. He'd perused the dance floor with his lackadaisical gaze as if the promise of lust that hung heavy in the air had no effect on him. It was only when our eyes met that the façade was shattered. In the span of seconds, his expression segued from shock, to surprise, to a certain hunger that made my dick spasm in my pants. I watched him watching me, tossing him an effortless smile and shamelessly licked my lips. It never dawned on me to question the path I was about to walk down. Even though questions tickled the back of my mind I wasn't about to waste time questioning it; I did what came naturally.

I provoked him.

His devouring gaze had intensified and emboldened me. I had swayed to the music, allowing it dominion over any sane thought. Then I pulled him into my orbit with a wicked smile that echoed the promises of debauched images that ran on a loop through my mind. The little tricks had their desired effect; it didn't escape my purview that he'd palmed his dick more than once as he watched my body move under the hypnotic beat. Satisfaction had rumbled through my body and my own cock throbbed pushing me closer to the edge. I tempted him knowing he was on the edge, the deep seated need in his eyes telegraphed by the confident smirk. There was a promise of something primal in his gaze and I was enthused by it, licking my lips decorously and adding a coy smirk to sweeten the pot.

I'd had him right where I wanted him and was about to pounce when my phone buzzed in my pocket. The incessant vibration against my leg was a distraction yet I held his gaze, shooting him a wink and a nod hoping he'd follow. I'd made my way to the back of the club, glancing back only once to see him following. Excitement thrummed through my body and I smiled wilder as filthy images painted themselves all over my brain. What would it feel like to take him hard, to tease him with slow, torturous thrusts, to watch his eyes slide shut in pure ecstasy?

Goddamn, I had to have him.

And it looked like I'd hooked him until I looked back to see he'd stopped his pursuit. I tried to see who he was talking to but the sea of bodies shifted, temporarily blocking them from my view.

Thank fuck the phone had gone silent but it wasn't long before it started again. Disappointed that my mysterious stranger hadn't taken the bait, I slammed out of the door and emerged in the alley, the techno music muted by the door as it eased closed.

I took a deep breath and released it as I walked away from Lotus, finally fishing my phone out of my pocket, glancing at the number.

"This piece of shit," I mumbled as I answered. Two seconds, that's all I got before he started in on me.

"Oikawa, done with your recon?" A smug snort echoed over the line and I rolled my eyes. My partner could be irritating but he called me on my bullshit on the regular, instantly endearing me to him. I tolerated his childish antics and provocations- birds of a feather and all that jazz.

"Fuck you, Kuroo. Got a reason why you're calling me on my night off or have you finally grown the balls to finally acknowledge your feelings?" His sinister laugh filled my ear and I couldn't help but smile. I'd already spent half a year with this man, learning the ins and outs of the streets of Tokyo. Although immature at times, Kuroo Tetsuro was a man of many talents, most of them vicious and absolute. His reputation had made my job easier and I could deal with the quick collars and giving punk ass criminals the what for. Dealing with his foolish pranks and attempts to rile me up were just the perks of the job.

"We all know you're going to be the one to confess first. But that's for later. We've got a line on Ukai."

"Who's the unlucky bastard that flipped on him?" I'd come to Tokyo for the sole purpose of capturing Ukai and after six months, I hadn't been the least bit successful. He'd been well hidden by his crew and cosseted by his grandfather's wealth and name. Getting at Ukai was going to be difficult but I wasn't willing to back down.

"I'll take you right to him," Kuroo answered easily. I looked up to see him a block over, emerging from his tricked out car, his phone to his ear and a wide, conniving smile on his lips. I hung up and quickened my step toward him. Despite the earlier disappointment, it seemed that the night was looking up.

* * *

I swung the bat and huffed as it connected with its target, the pained cries of my prey filling the dense silence of the warehouse. Taking a step back, I turned away from the man currently suspended in midair, his gurgled groans and the stench of his piss filling the air, furthering my irritated mood. I glanced over at Bo to see him squaring up his eyes alight with glee, his own aluminum bat dripping with blood. When he'd said that there were pressing matters, I'd known that I had no choice but to follow. It wasn't that the work was bothersome- I'd never had an issue with what I'd done for Ukai, or the countless glazed gazes that I'd faced- it was the fact that I couldn't get _his_ eyes out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the rhythmic sway of his hips, the way his lips curved upward in a taunting gaze.

"Snap out of it, Koushi." I turned away from Bo as he landed hit after hit, the soft grunts slowly dwindling to hollow thuds. After a while, the warehouse descended into silence, Bokuto's rapid pants bounced off of the barren walls. The job had been completed but I wasn't satisfied.

Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? He was a nameless face- a preternaturally gorgeous face but nameless nonetheless. One in a million that I'd ignored daily.

Nothing special.

Yet my heart sped up and my cock hardened with every phantom image. I couldn't help but shake the notion that I'd met him before, that he was something more than a fleeting thought. But in my line of work, there were a dozen faces I'd seen and even the most remarkable would've been a blank slate, forgotten the moment I turned my gaze.

But his…his stayed.

"Fuck."

"Well, if you insist." Bokuto chuckled as he neared and I turned to see him swinging the bat, the blood slinging off of it with every arch. Some of the blood splattered across his face and he grinned almost manically, his blazing eyes glinting in the dim light. For some, our line of work had hardened them, for others, they spilled their guts after every job but for Bokuto Kotaro…taking a life was something of an enlightenment. He really enjoyed what he did and he did it with a sort of flourish that begged for attention.

And he usually got it in spades.

Yet, he was the goofiest asshole I'd ever met. His smile belied his psychopathic tendencies, his warmth and concern for others in his sphere second to none. Only the poor bastards that fucked over Ukai only saw his sadistic side while the family only saw his gentle assuages and hearty laughs. His duality was puzzling and fucking creepy at times but I'd have no one else beside me.

"Finished then?" I winced internally at how quiet my voice was, hopeful that he wouldn't catch it. Naturally, he'd honed in and I could feel his penetrative gaze slice through me. Exhaling heavily, I averted my eyes and shook my head, "Don't Kotaro. It's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about…got it." I lifted my head toward him and groaned, his uncanny eyes narrowed into fine slits. At some point, he'd lit a cigarette and nestled it between his lips, the thin line of smoke rising lazily above him. The fact I hadn't heard him light up was bothersome- something that didn't escape Bo's inscrutable gaze. "What's Nothing's name?"

I didn't answer. I'd left his question hanging, hoping he'd catch the clue and leave it alone. Silence passed between us for long moments, the low creak of the chain moving slowly back and forth, its gentle whine almost hypnotic despite the weight it held.

If I weren't so discombobulated, I would've laughed at his sorry attempt at a joke. Instead, I just waved him off. "If you must know, Nothing's name is bullshit and you're stepping right in it."

Bokuto snickered as I watched what used to be a man as it swung languidly, the gruesome sight he presented nothing more than a footnote to my night. I tossed a nod to Bokuto and he'd fished his pack out and knocked one out, handing it to me. I took it and leaned in, puffing once for the fire to catch on. I stared at the suspended body but my eyes were solely locked on my gorgeous stranger, replaying that delicious smirk and coy wink over and over again.

"You know, for nothing to be wrong, you sure are spacing out a bit more than usual." Bokuto's voice was right in my ear, his breath glancing off my ear.

"Fuck, Kotaro! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Not my fault you're not all here," he answered merrily. Coming closer, he tossed the bat away and settled on my shoulder, flinging his right arm around and pulling me closer. He took a drag and turned away briefly to exhale, the puff of smoke dissipating as soon as it was released. He'd leaned down and pointed to the dead man, "Since you're in such a funk, I'm going to let you have all the fun. Maybe if you expended some of that energy, you'll come back to life."

"It's your turn." Although unmoved at the connotation, I groaned internally at how petulant I sounded. At this point, I just wanted to go home, slip into the shower and try to forget. I considered talking to Bokuto about it but one look into this lunatic's eyes cut all that shit short. As accommodating as he was to the family, he couldn't hold water to save his life. And I didn't want to face the questions that would inevitably come after Bo's word vomit.

No, I couldn't tell Bokuto and I didn't want to burden Daichi.

I could tell Yamguchi but then he'd run and tell Kageyama- for fuck's sake, I wouldn't live that down, especially since I laughed in his face about his predicament.

No… it was best I kept this to myself. There was nothing gained by burdening others with my problems.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I looked to see Bokuto slipping into the familiar plastic black suit, a hint of madness in his eyes. Another job done, another night lost to the wicked.

It was three thirty am; I'd just killed a man.

And as I sliced him up, I couldn't stop thinking about my beautiful, nameless stranger.

Boy, my life was fucked.


	3. By the Pale Shine of Sunlight

Chapter Three: By the Pale Shine of Sunlight

For once, it was quiet and it's somewhat unnerving.

Unlike the past three days, the apartment was blissfully silent, the serene stillness oddly out of place in a complex that seemed to thrive off of the clamor of its inhabitants. The usual noise was absent and was fucking creepy. I wasn't used to the peaceful lull of a noiseless environment and the thought of the soundless vacuum made me uneasy. On reflex, I slipped my hand underneath my pillow in search for the piece that I'd put there the night before, frowning when I came up empty. I swiped my hand across the cool sheets once more for good measure.

Nope, not there.

I opened my eyes against the pale rays invading my space, temporarily easing the contentious anxiety that threaded through my body, considering the simple beauty of the faint light. Dust particles danced in the streaming rays, its lackadaisical sway almost hypnotizing. I can't help but think of the last night, how I'd lost myself in his curious gaze, how each thump of the baseline perfectly mirrored my heart's vicious rhythm. I'd been more than hopeful that he would follow me and somewhat put off that he hadn't. I'd tried to shake that feeling off, exercise it completely and go about my merry way. He was just one person, one person with wide, luminous eyes, eyes that could easily provide comfort just as much as they could devour, eyes that had imprisoned me even hours afterwards.

Even now, the faint memory was a captivating phantom that had pursued me through the darkened corners of my dreams.

Lost in thought, I'd forgotten about the unnerving sensation of waking up to deafening silence- that was until I heard the familiar click of the hammer cocking back. That sound, so inconsequential on any other day had shattered the once tranquil atmosphere, thrusting me into the maelstrom of disquiet. Oddly, my thoughts turned to my cat, Sagan, wondering if she'd been the first victim of our mysterious visitor. The fact that my missing gun was most likely aimed at my head pissed me off and my only recourse was to somehow reach the desk that stood opposite the bed and snatch up the spare I'd planted there.

I'd been fantasizing instead of formulating a competent plan of escape; instead, I'd spent precious minutes lost to hazy remnants of a lustful gaze that I'd probably never see again. Worrying about something inconsequential at the moment was a waste of time. I had a visitor and they required my undivided attention.

The muscles in my body tensed, the kinetic energy throbbed through every nerve and I clenched my teeth together, as the seconds ticked by. My hands flexed underneath the pillow as I pulled it closer to me, the soft scent of the linen barely quelling the absolute fury that threatened to explode.

Waiting for them to make the first move was bullshit and a surefire way to meet the business end of a bullet. It was meager but my plan consisted of the pillow underneath my head, a loaded (or not, I couldn't remember) gun, and the element of surprise.

A pillow fight...my plan of survival amounted to nothing more than a pillow fight.

It was reckless and quite possibly the stupidest thing I'd thought of but it was better than nothing.

If I survived, it would be a cool story to tell.

I clutched the pillow tightly, preparing to move when I heard his voice, "Indecisiveness will assuredly lead you into the jaws of death."

I shot up and turned quickly to see Iwaizumi leveling _my_ gun at my face, his own impassive. If I hadn't known this bastard for most of my life, I couldn't say with confidence that he wouldn't have pulled the trigger. Hell, even with the years between us, I still didn't know if I were seconds away from the end of my life. He was unpredictable, unhinged, probably a psychopath...but he was the only one I could call a best friend.

His lips pulled into a thin smirk as he lowered the piece and flipped it, handing it to me and my heart returned to its regular rhythm. He could be a grade A asshole when he wanted to be.

"Why can't you call like a normal person, Iwa-chan?" His dour expression only furthered my annoyance and I tossed the pillow at his head, satisfied that it met its target soundly. As the pillow slid off of his face, I couldn't help the small snicker that escaped my lips. Even with cunning, sharp olive green eyes and dangerous disposition, Iwaizumi Hajime was one of few I could trust- which was surprising considering his prior profession. I stood and approached, reaching to take the gun out of his hands. I regarded it with a passing glance and lifted my eyes to focus on my best friend, "There's a better way to wake someone up, you know?"

"Not when that someone sleeps like the dead." Iwaizumi crossed over to take a seat at my desk and crossed his feet at his ankles, "Maybe rethink your security measures, Oikawa?"

"My security is just fine, Iwa-chan." I sounded like a bratty kid, licking his wounded pride. Ignoring the soft snickers, I continued, "Sleep or not, I know my surroundings well enough to sense when something's wrong."

"I'd been in your home for thirty minutes, standing by your bed with a gun pointed at your head for five. I'd say that's a pretty big problem." Sagan had made her appearance, quickly maneuvering herself between his legs before jumping into his lap, her soft purr a response to his deft touch. He smiled down at the feline as he gently scratched behind her ears, "I had a couple of days so I decided to check up on you." He lifted his head and canted it slightly to the left, regarding me with a slightly strained but bemused smile, "Judging by your sleepwear, it was a good decision. Had a rough night did you?"

I scoffed at his insinuation of immaturity and turned away from him, casting a quick glance down at my rumpled sleep pants. So they were emblazoned with all manner of stars and planets…what did it matter? I looked good regardless of what I was- or wasn't -wearing. There hadn't been any complaints on either side of the spectrum.

One thing to understand about me is that despite the fuck-all attitude, I have my quirks. A love for astronomy, a plethora of coffees, and the occasional volleyball game are what keeps me afloat, even during the shittiest of times. And Sagan…she's a godsend, the only one I can truly be indulgent with and not feel like a total ass. As my best friend, Iwaizumi's been the only one privy to that information.

"I'm absolutely sure that you didn't come all the way to Tokyo to chastise me about my sleepwear and all around gorgeousness, Iwa-chan." I breezed past him quickly to head for the bathroom. I didn't wait for his response as I continued talking, "If you must know, I actually had the night off- well, sort of until Kuroo got me involved in something. Hunting down a potential informant and shaking him down just to find that he's skipped town already wasn't my idea of fun. Leave it to Kuroo to liven up a night…"

It was obvious that he wasn't listening, the hollow silence echoing in the space between us. I stopped and slowly turned just as he averted his eyes. His usual stern gaze wavered, his eyes filled with such despondency that my heart cracked open. His lips were stretched in such a firm, thin line that they were turning white. Iwaizumi didn't do melancholy- didn't do any emotion really other than pissed off and _extremely_ pissed off- so this morose display was… it was shocking to say the least. I was temporarily rendered speechless, watching him barely holding it together.

It wasn't often that Iwaizumi visited but when he did it was run of the mill friend stuff and he actually called beforehand to let me know he was about to terrorize me.

He hadn't done that this time.

I approached cautiously, curious about this turn of events. What could've elicited such a visceral reaction from someone as stoic and unflappable as Iwaizumi? He was notorious for internalizing, swallowing despair and disappointment as if he were a starved fiend. He was hard nut to crack and if I asked flat out, he'd readily deny me any answers.

I was too invested in him to let that happen.

"We'll go get some coffee". His head shot up, his eyes filled with fiery defiance. I glanced down at his clenched fist and smirked, adding a gentle lilt of my brow as a silent challenge. Despite his intimidating aura, Hajime was sensitive at his core and he wasn't exactly thrilled that _I_ was the one who'd known about all about his vulnerabilities. If it were any other day, I'd gloated at his uncharacteristic display but his demeanor was worrying and I didn't have it in me to push his limits.

"No prying."

I stepped past him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "No prying. You talk until you think it's enough, alright?"

"Is that code for 'I'm going to be nosy as fuck'?" His brash tone was more mocking than biting and he exhaled heavily as he lifted his hand to swipe at his eyes, "Why the hell did I come to you?"

"I'm an excellent listener and give sound advice."

"You're absolute garbage."

"Yet, you drove four hours to Tokyo…"

"Fuck you, Shittykawa. Don't take long getting dressed. I don't have all day . You're driving." His surly response was par for the norm and I couldn't do anything but smile. That was the Iwaizumi that I'd known and loved for years; bursting in, making demands and expecting you to follow. He didn't say anything as he turned and walked out and I laughed softly as Sagan trailed behind, no doubt to pilfer his attention.

I hurried to get dressed. I'd call Kuroo to let him know I was taking _another_ personal day. Something was telling me that this unannounced visit was just the beginning of something interesting.

* * *

The gentle breeze whispering through the window next to my bed stirred me awake, the sun's luminous rays filtered through the swaying sheer curtain, comfortably warming my cooled skin. I hesitated briefly; opening my eyes would pull me out of the ether of pleasure and I wanted to hold on to that buffer between darkness and light, allow the images time to recede into the shadowed corners of forgetfulness.

And I wanted to forget him. Wanted to forget how sinfully delicious he looked as he gyrated to the music, the debauchery and depravity telegraphed with every thrust of his hips. I wanted to forget how absolutely hypnotizing his eyes were, how they made me want to defy every sane thought and just follow.

But now, in the stillness of the morning, I wanted to forget him, wanted to act as if I'd never seen him before. Act as if every hazy image didn't make me ache.

If only it were that easy.

Despite the gruesome activities of the evening, my mind had stayed on him.

On how his brilliant brown eyes were alight with the promise all sorts of mayhem and decadence.

On the ridiculously sexy, if not challenging smirk, he'd tossed my way.

On how foolish I'd been not to follow him or at least approach…

If not for a moment, I could've followed him, given hope to another time, another place. Something to tether this distinctive need he'd awaken in me.

I sat up slowly, bringing my knees up to my chest and looped my arms around them. I rested my head against them, my eyes turned toward the window and the vivid blue sky and exhaled, giving a voice to my melancholy. As much as I wanted him, as selfish as I wanted to be, how could I think to pull him into the curse of loyalty I'd consciously chosen? I was kidding myself to think that even if I did manage to find him again that who I was and what I'd done wouldn't matter. It's not every day someone hooked up with a gangster.

I could lie to him. Could spin every golden tale known to man just to have him for one night but that wasn't a path I wanted to walk. Yes, he'd called to the baser of my needs but there was something just underneath that smooth veneer, something worth unraveling. I'd be a fool if I thought I could get just a taste and leave him alone.

That just wasn't my style.

There was no longer a point to lamenting what I'd lost. The night was over, the dream chased into the far corners of my memory. The world kept turning and I'd have to turn along with it.

If only it were that easy.

Deciding that action was better than loafing around, pining for something I couldn't have, I moved to stand, the smooth sateen sheet slipping away. I'm sure there were better things to do- if not I'd occupy my time accordingly.

I reached for my robe and slipped it over my shoulders, tying it tightly about my waist as I walked toward the floor length mirror on the opposite wall. I stood there for a moment, regarding myself with a discerning eye. My skin was shallow, nearly translucent and my eyes dulled by the lack of a sound sleep. The once lavender rings around my eyes had darkened into a sickly purplish hue and each orb was bloodshot. My hair was a rumpled nest of greyness, misshapen with no rhyme or reason. I frowned at that, musing that if I'd had my way the intended toss and turn and the resulting messy clump would've been welcomed

Ugh, enough of this.

"Get over it already," I muttered as I moved to the closet. I approached the black lacquered doors quickly, forcing myself to focus on something else other than my missed opportunity. I flung open the doors with a grand flourish, smiling so wide that my face hurt. Feigning indifference had been an easy feat for me in the past, yet today, it was a poor façade, nothing more than a distraction.

I went about the business of selecting my wardrobe, running through my memorized schedule. The mornings were usually left to us with the afternoons and evenings regulated to running errands for the Ukai and his immediate family so I had a little bit of time before I'd have to put in an appearance.

No need to rush and on better days, this would be convenient. Not today, though. Not when I can't seem to pry my thoughts away from a certain person…

A thunderous boom rocketed through the room, making me jump out of my skin. I waited for a moment longer, grimacing when another forceful pound echoed from the door. It wasn't even a second before they started again, the pounds swiftly seguing into erratic, anxious taps. Annoyed, I moved quickly, taking large strides toward the door, attempting to temper my response. Generally, I'm an easy guy, laid back, understanding, even empathetic in a manner. But please don't mistake that for a weakness.

Opening the door, a blur of darkness passed me and I turned on my heels to face the intruder to find Kageyama pacing, his face a tapestry of anxiety and exasperation.

"I told that dumbass to come back as soon as possible. But does he listen? Has he ever listened?" he muttered aloud. He bit his lip and creased his brow harder as if thinking more would solve whatever problem had risen. As he paced, he shoved his hands into his pockets and then pulled them out, crossing them about his chest. "That idiot…that complete asshole!"

I cleared my throat and that got him to at least acknowledge me with a glance. It was short lived; he just continued to pace, each circuit growing with intensity, his words becoming louder, his actions erratic. There was only one person Kageyama got so worked up about and usually, it's well deserved.

"Ukai wants you to go to Sendai, free up this freak's friend." The cold, detached voice of one Tsukishima Kei filtered in behind me and I turned to see him entering, his golden gaze bored and gait lackadaisical. He was thin and tall with blond hair that gently curled on the ends. Most would see Tsukishima and think nothing more of him- that would be their first and last mistake. Unassuming and observant, Tsukishima was deadly and efficient, his wit as sharp as the blades he wielded. I glanced at his lean form, barely making out the outline of the holster that housed his blades. Tsukishima hated guns but anything sharp…it was frighteningly eerie how graceful he could be when making a kill.

But none of that mattered at the moment. Even though I needed something to do, I didn't want to do _this_.

"And the reason why I have to do this…"

"Because Ukai can't trust Mr. Love sick over here not to randomly murder." Although annoyed, there was a ghost of a smirk on his lips as he glanced to Kageyama. He and Kageyama…well, let's just say that it was a strict mandate that they tolerate each other. Otherwise, there would be no end to their violence- or stupidity.

"Oi…"

"AND," Tsukishima gleefully interrupted, "I don't trust myself going to snatch _him_ up. Could you see me traveling with him?" I shuddered at the connotation of that, of how bloody it would get if it were up to Kei. He simply grinned and pushed his glasses further up his nose, "It is best that there be a neutral party involved."

"Best for everyone," Kageyama added. He'd finally stopped pacing and stared between the two of us, his steely blue eyes stern. He grimaced in Tsukishima's direction then turned away from him, focusing his attention solely on me. He approached, his hands out stretched, his expression softening, "Suga, you're the only one who can do this. He's gotten himself into something he can't get out of and even though he hasn't asked…"

"You can't help it, Tobio." One look and my annoyance dissipated completely. I knew what it felt like to be the only one in love and I felt bad for him. I exhaled wearily and shook my head, "I'll call Bo."

"Um, no can do, Suga. Bokuto 's…um… indisposed."

I knew what that meant.

I was on my own and judging by how the day had started I wasn't so sure it was a great idea.


	4. Chapter 4: Lost in the Fumes

Chapter Four: Lost in the Fumes

I wasn't looking forward to this trip back to Sendai but it would serve its purpose as a needed distraction to expunge _him_ from my thoughts. Although I had better things to do on my own than to rescue a certain red head who couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life, I didn't bat an eyelash when Ukai had formally ordered me to Sendai or when he, in the same breath, suggested that Tsukishma accompany me. Even though I didn't hate Tsukishma as much as Kageyama, dealing with Tsukishma and his vexing smirks and biting retorts that were just as meddlesome as asking prodding questions. Besides, an order from Ukai was tantamount to an order from God- it was delusional to think that Ukai would rescind based on personal issues alone.

The value add in all of this: A disengaged Tsukishma was a quiet Tsukishma. If I stayed to myself, Tsukishma would get the memo and remain a silent fixture. And silence was what I needed to work through this odd fixation with my mysterious stranger. I still cringed when hazy snippets of the night before had continued to haunt me into the waking hours and despite all of my efforts, all thoughts always turned to _him_.

I exhaled softly and checked my watch and then resumed my quiet reflection, watching the blurring landscape as the train sped along the tracks. The further I got from Tokyo, the better. A few hours away would do me some good.

We would arrive in Sendai at two o'clock, leaving me just an hour and a half to rid myself of his enigmatic imprint.

Once there, I would have to hit the ground running, all thoughts of arresting chocolate eyes and a sinfully molded body chased away by hours of reconnaissance and the violence that was sure to follow I wouldn't kid myself into thinking that executing our little extraction mission would go off as planned; Hinata, in all of his curiosities, had gotten tangled up with the likes of Ushijima- unpredictability and violence was all but assured. Plans were worthless and foolhardy. Making it home alive was the takeaway.

Ukai's decision to leash Kageyama had been an advantage; although deceptively impassive under any other pretenses, one of Kageyama Tobio's pressure points was his affinity for the little runt of a journalist. Coupled with his unearthly obsession, his intelligence and inability to cage his violent tendencies and well…you understand where I'm going with this. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Hinata but his relationship with Kageyama was troublesome, inconvenient, and a pain in the ass.

A reminder that my desires were better left undiscovered.

"You're awfully reflective." His voice was close, his breath skirting my ear. The haughty tone was easy enough to detect and his piercing gaze was heavy and taunting. He wanted a reaction and I was keen to let him simmer in his disappointment. After a moment of silence, he leaned away, settling against his seat with an airy sigh, "Love is a crazy thing, huh?"

Biting back an angry reply, I kept my eyes on the landscape, focusing on the passing peaks of Mount Zao; its snowy caps were a suitable diversion to the impulse to lash out. I wasn't interested in furthering this fishing expedition just to please Kei in his boredom and instead of engaging him further, I remained silent, the unmitigated fury and flashes of violent rage, specifically toward a certain black and grey haired lunatic running in tandem with the desire to slap the arrogant smirk off of Kei's lips. Ignoring would only get me so far; Kei's talent, aside from expertly carving up a body, lay in instigation- something, apparently, I could not escape.

Crossing my arms, I exhaled lightly, "The ride's too long to listen to you bitch about your problems, Tsukki."

"Cute but wrong," Tsukishma answered smartly. A quick glance revealed the utter disgust evident in his glare. The use of his nickname always put him in a foul mood but I didn't give a shit. It didn't take him long to shake it off though; the glare had suffused into a smarmy grin. "You leave yourself open to too many prying eyes, Suga. You know how fast words travel; someone might get the wrong idea."

"And what idea is that?" I cringed at the tension in my voice, infuriated that I'd let him get to me so quickly. I gripped my arms tightly to stave a more violent reaction, my nails biting into the material. Tsukishma snickered and I groaned inwardly, contemplating the direction the conversation.

"That you're losing your edge." The tension was palpable, the air between us laden with the words unspoken. I shifted my gaze briefly, catching a glance of his golden eyes as they flashed knowingly, the slick smirk and the subtle raised brow inciting more fury that I could handle. Instigation aside, I knew what he was getting at; making mistakes was one thing, showing an ineptness only led down a darkened path.

"I'd caution you not to make assumptions based on a fool's word," I responded tightly, returning to gazing out of the window. "You know what they say about assumptions."

"Yes, all too well," he answered back, "but here's a word of advice." He shifted in his seat and leaned forward, laughing lightly as our eyes met, "I suggest, _Koushi_ , whatever it is, clear it. In your line of work, an absent mind is a dangerous weakness to have."

"I don't have any weaknesses, _Kei_."

"Yet," he answered nonchalantly. He eased back, taking up a magazine, flipping the pages slowly as if measuring his next sentence, "Be sure it stays that way. Ukai's a forgiving man to a fault but I wouldn't press my luck. End it."

"There's nothing to end, Tsukishma."

"Sure, now look in the mirror and tell yourself that lie." The amount of impudence in Tsukishma's voice was sickening and provoking. I turned to him quickly, only to find him staring sightlessly at the images before him, the arrogance gone, replaced by…remorse? "Take my word for it, Suga. Our way of life doesn't leave much room for anything else other than family, much less love. If you think you're an exception to the rule, you're a fool."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kei." His almost lifeless expression made me uneasy yet I was intrigued by his response. What could've happened to tear at the apathetic shell he'd stringently erected?

Mirthless laughter filled the space between us as Tsukishma canted his head toward me. Any traces of melancholy had dissipated, leaving in its wake a blank slate of indifference. "Ignorance isn't a good look on you, Sugawara. Be smart about this."

"Fuck you, Tsukishma." Furious, I pulled out my phone and sent a short, expletive filled text to a certain hazel eyed asshole. Satisfied I shoved my phone back in my pocket and resumed watching as the world passed, losing myself to the realization that my reality was fucked. And there was nothing I could do about that.

Nothing at all.

* * *

So apparently, going for coffee meant traveling back to Sendai.

This wasn't my scene by any stretch, sequestered in such a small space, unable to move for hours on end was definitely not my idea of a good time. Add to the mix the somber mood and shitty music and you'd have a good idea the nightmare I'd waltzed into. An hour into this melancholic hell, I'd convinced myself that I'd be willing to face Kuroo's relentless idiocy rather than lose a second more to the misery that seemed to engulf Hajime. He was lost in his own world and refusing to let me in. He hadn't said two words since getting in the car, his gaze set squarely on the dull landscape. Of course, I was pissed but I reminded myself that he'd made the trip to Tokyo and that's something he'd never do on a whim. Something was up and the more he ensconced himself in this dreadful silence, the more I realized that, quite possibly, blood would be shed.

Hajime's quiet temperance was the first clue that something was up. Although painfully stoic, Hajime never missed a chance to check me, even for the most mundane. I'd left him plenty of openings as I prepared for the day, leveling all sorts of lame ass jokes and even preened like a beauty queen- something I knew he despised – all to no avail. He remained impassive, his gaze lost to the seconds that ticked by, doing his very best impression of a lonesome apparition.

Frankly, it scared the shit out of me. Hajime never really reached out for help, he wasn't that type of man. It was always him who stood as the sturdy foundation, the unmovable object in the monsoon. He'd perfected the role while in high school, always lending an ear or a fist to make things right, always positing as the dependable one, one who'd get shit done. It hadn't been a surprise when he'd decided on the military, electing to let a very advantageous volleyball scholarship float away in favor of serving his country. That was where the road ended with us for a few years. It wasn't until he'd returned from a botched mission that he popped back into my life, towing along the demons he'd harvested while away. I knew a lot about Hajime but there were certain things he kept close to his chest and I was willing to bet that it this impromptu road trip was the result of one of those things.

"So…"

"I thought you said no prying." His voice crackled slightly and he cleared his throat before cutting his eyes at me. "'Talk until you think it's enough.'"

"We've been in this car for damn near two hours and you haven't said one word. Not one, Hajime." Annoyed, I continued, "You show up at o' dark thirty, level a gun to my head and berate me for my shitty security…"

"It _is_ rather pathetic," he intoned smugly.

"And give me unsolicited fashion advice."

"You only wear those when you're trying not to think about something- or somebody." _That fucker better not be grinning_ , I thought as my grip tightened on the wheel. Hajime turned his body toward me, his lips thinning into a garish grin. "What's her name?"

"There is no _her_ ," I groused. I gripped the wheel tightly, ignoring the throbbing pain in my knuckles as I shot back, "You're surprisingly chatty now, Iwa-chan."

He didn't take the bait, instead he doubled down, "So, not a _her_. Hmm, a _he_ then?"

"Now you're just fucking around."

"Okay, not a _he_." Annoyed by his deft swerve, I exhaled in a huff and shook my head. It was a difficult attempt to keep him on topic which was ironic seeming as if he were the more settled of the two of us. He'd settled back and pondered, his brow narrowed in thought. With a sudden burst of energy, he popped back up, "I got it, it's a t _hem_! You're broadening your field, Oikawa. Good, I never thought of you as a one woman/man type of person anyway."

"Fuck you, Iwaizumi." So I participated in more than my share of hedonistic pleasures. Not exactly something I'd get upset about but for some reason, his deflection had hit a sore spot. I couldn't help but think of my beautiful stranger, how elusive, yet potently addicting one glance had been. Thinking about his silver hair, his intoxicating, almost innocently seductive eyes…

A brief thought of _him_ brought about a flush of arousal, nearly knocking the wind out of my lungs. I shifted slightly in the seat, allowing room for my dick to expand. What was he doing at the moment? Was he thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him? Did he even care? My thoughts drifted, wondering about his day to day, how he took his coffee, what kind of job he had…

If I had to guess, my beautiful stranger was decidedly not a salary man. His suit was bespoke all clean lines and ridiculously expensive cut. It fit him like a glove, much like his aloof demeanor. His eyes were seemingly innocent but screamed illicit. Everything I was attracted to, and my instincts were to act. Despite that desire, there was something off about him, about that moment. I couldn't quite pin point why I'd had a niggling feeling in the recesses of my mind but I didn't waste time on the unnecessary. I operated on instincts, and my first was that he was merely a delicious challenge that I'd gladly take.

"…Not that you haven't tried," Hajime had countered sharply.

Shaking myself out of the reverie, I hadn't realized that Hajime had answered, although now, I was sure he was looking at me with a goofy ass smile on his face. Sure enough, I averted my attention briefly, catching the smug smirk and exhaled with a huff. I had to get my head in the game. _He_ didn't matter, only getting to the root of Hajime's odd behavior and planning my next lay wasn't making it any easier.

"Are you going to tell me why you're dragging me back to Sendai or is this one of your fucked up surprises?" Of course, Hajime knew I hated surprises and I didn't hesitate to remind him. "I'd thought you'd learned your lesson the last time, Iwaizumi."

Hajime, by nature, was a private man. Unfortunately for him, his last surprise was ill-timed.

I think I still have that video on my phone.

"You know what, Oikawa, fuck you right back," he responded quietly. The recrimination was empty, devoid of his usual heat, replaced by, oddly, apprehension. I glanced to see his focus honing in on the green flatland of the countryside once more, willing to be lost in the monotony of the scenery passing by. The music blared to life, effectively erasing the heavy silence between us. The hesitation was evident, as if he were searching for the right words to say, for a safety net that would allow him to spill out whatever had been bothering him. Before the next song began, I reached to turn the volume down. He was only going to give me one shot at this so the less distractions the better.

The silence began to stretch into uncomfortable territory, a clue that he was about to shut down completely. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, ready to shatter the ominous quiet. It was unnerving to sit in this deafening stillness, frozen in uncertainty. I began to squirm under this stilted peace, anxiously flexing my fingers to allow the staunched blood to flow back, willing him to speak. A multitude of emotions filtered through my mind at his reluctance, unused to this indecisiveness. He'd never shown this much vulnerability and I'd seen him through a lot of fucked up shit through our friendship.

"Hajime…"

"There's trouble brewing," he blurted quickly.

"What kind of trouble, Hajime?"

Empty silence.

That was all he'd given me. I couldn't do anything to pull out what he didn't want exposed and as much as I wanted to give him space, I needed more information. I caught his gaze briefly before focusing on the road before me, catching the hints of desperation in his eyes. My grip tightened on the wheel in an effort to stave the violent response that was clawing its way to the surface.

"Just…just get us back to Sendai as quick as you can."

I was tempted to pull the car over and get the entire story but the stony silence cut all that shit short. Nothing mattered at the moment, not Tokyo, not Kuroo, not _him_. Nothing mattered other than helping the only man I could call a true friend.

I narrowed my brow and adjusted my grip, my foot pressing down on the gas. I hadn't missed the brief flash of fury in his eyes before he'd turned away.

I exhaled heavily.

There would most definitely be blood.


End file.
